Jour ordinaire

 

Home small, crammed, familiar. Familiar is a comfort.

     Automaton. Cast out that line and reel it back, same events as yesterday. Business calls.  Dog walk, happily greet neighbors and gossip about Islamic corp Maria’s house—remain a bnb or harbor immigrant relatives?  K says noisy so far eg slamming doors circa midnight.  Hard arthritis pain all joints, trying out S’s large heating pad. A’s OK today, no med pros coming in til tomorrow then doubles every day plus S and Fu. 

Cas

The boys (& girls) are back in town

 

Spring???  afternoon in the park

   The cold hasn’t kept them indoors. And it is cold despite what the temperature says or the sunshine hints; it’s that chill wind again

It’s late, I'm reaching

 

Good dogs, Cyrus and Timmy, 12-22– 2005

      That many years ago!  Gone but not forgotten. 

And that’s it for todsy

Spring wonders

Yesterday’s surprise.  Looks like two dogs out there. 

Another one of nature’s natural surprising sculptures on the last of the snow.

. 

    Red had two nice walks today and I didn’t take him on either one. J Took him out this afternoon, and this morning G and L walked him a good long way while I worked on A’s personal grooming prior to doc visit. Good outings for us all. Bright sunlight tho cold winds. Napping also feels good to us all after ChicFilet redux, yum. No cooking tonight. Red, especially enjoyed rip-and-shredding the pup cup after licking out all the whipped cream.  You know I call him Mr. Ripanshredder

    Sis D had another ablation today and is recovering well, she says 

  I will facilitate PSC meeting tonight o Orage, psychological  essay 8, Are we awake?

Looks like I missed again

 

Portland in town

     Gray day. Red and I took a short walk up the hill. We approached, nervously I admit, then passed 5-6 overly happy—high?—probably homeless people, male and females, 20s-30s,  at the corner, just as they left a bearded older looking compadre sitting on a carton playing flicking a lighter to a small piece of diamond shaped mesh. We all exchanged cordial greetings.

       A few feet around the corner a man in a black ski cap was folded on a single stoop step, bare forearm and spread open tanne hand holding/protecting all his worldly possessions, a blue and black backpack. Sleeping hard in an apparently habitual  posture and place at 2:30 pm in a usually frigid city.  Of course I felt pity. As I walked past him, I had the urge to dig out a dollar, no, make it a fiver, and slip it under his open hand, or,  safer? , his backpack.  But no.  Might not be safe for me on my wobbly pins with little leashed Red to encounter God knows what. And a beautiful well dressed young woman passed us just at that moment with a small hello to let us know she was there, as we were unaware of her before. So Red and I walked on, wondering at the variety of folk on God’s planet. 

     

Never know

Snow bunnies today

Never know what you will see on a walk.

And it’s amazing what effects weather can create.

OK by Red

Snow balls or snow sculptures might be a better denomination, but I like bunnies best; maybe because they are so white, small, and multitudinous.

Tilt

 

How the day feels

 Kundabuffer, perceive everything upside down, or perhaps lopsided. That’s how today felt, so cold and busy, tiny pelty snow sized like sand grains. All day. So many petty tasks and contacts exhaust me. Like being hit by the tiny snow. But what else, what really better?  It’s purposeful, like when I’ve transformed myself into a housekeeper for Eric’s sake, without his asking, of course. Mostly I have a gap, of missing people I love.  The harder I feel I work for them, the more I push them away rather than relax into love of them. Upside down! Is there something I need to learn?

Another Snow Day

 

Not pretty, just en route as snowfall starts 

   I’m either tired or bored. Body feels too quiet alternating with arthritis aches. Red hasn’t eaten a day, won’t eat, and his tummy is rumbling, and he’s sleeping all day. No newspaper today: annoying.  We’ve had the tv on 5-6 hours, too long if entertaining ad maybe informative shows—Sedona ufos, Peter Doocey, basketball.  Need to read, don’t want to, though. Did take Red for a walk around the block just as the snow started, a bene for us both. I’m grateful I don’t need to go the hospital today. And the answer to boredom is, do something.

Computer frustration

 

No you can’t

     Two hours repeating the process, after a week waiting for this ok and no time to try for another week So glad to see you so glad to see you always so glad to see you. Of course no human voice can to, just text conversation with someone who essentially repeated the online, ineffective instructions. Might be time to get A a new typewriter and dump his computer altogether. Old School. He said no.   

     I just lost my whole whinge that completed this post, damn it. Computer frustration again. 

      May as well skip the litany of complaints about losing passwords and inability to access Mac and Android mail functions due to Oldmfr’s inability that to keep up with tech so-called advances. 

     I feel like I have been rudely thrust into a world that is far too complicated.

     Good thing was, we called L this morning and also talked with M.  Felt normal.  That’s good. Must admit I’m still a bit hurt no sub phoned A  except C called yesterday to tell us about L’s fall. I did enjoy our text threads though. So never hold a grudge is the axiom du jour. 

What to say

 

Y and daughters sent flowers too

      So much happening every day. Forgetting to blog or work. More later.  

         Well, more certainly turned 

     As I walked Red on Harsbrg., with neighbor G, he playing with a leashed dog in its front yard, I got a cel call from sis C. Sis L fell in parking lot AGAIN and niece M took her to hospital or er, probable broken or dislocated shoulder. 

  

Text thread:

Sis LD:  Man it’s been a bad 2 weeks for us. Is Mercury in retrograde? 

ME:  It has been and it’s settled today ready to turn back tomorrow. Today is spring equinox I heard.  The mercury effects still last about two more weeks.

niece M: Love that for us

So L is waiting for a head CT and care plan for her dislocated shoulder. Also her BP is abnormally high which is expected with pain but the new heart arrhythmia she is exhibiting is worrisome. They are doing a cardiac work up. I'll update y'all as we go. 

BRO:  Well, let us know if they find anything.

Niece M:  Will do

BRO:  no I mean anything

Sis C:  I'm so thankful M is there

Niece M:  She says they won't find anything especially her heart hahaha 

BRO:  😊

Sis C;  Or brain

Niece M:  Ok now that's just mean she says she ain't no scarecrow lol

Sis C:  Sure she is more the tin man type

ME:  😀 glad her shoulder is not broken, but dislocated. May have been time to find all those other symptoms like the arrhythmia. those are easily treated generally.

Tell her to stay out of that damn parking lot😖

And thank you M for being there

Niece M:  Well we have no definitive answers at the moment but going with at the least dislocation BC her shoulder is so not where it should be 

Sis LD:  I hate parking lots myself.  They just teach up and trip you, (she broke her kneecap last month)

Niece M:  Waiting on labs and imaging results to start getting answers and a care plan 

ME:  You do have recent experience with that, D.  And yes, as I think of it. ALLAN’s accident was in a parking lot too just via a car.

Niece M:  Well all of you are grounded lol and no thanks needed. I'm glad I could get to her and be with her

ME:  Me too, M, and thanks again

Niece M:  Well that's 3 parking lots so we've had enough of that 

Sis LD: Yes, thanks Magen, 

Niece M:  😊

ME:  New family rule: all James stay out of parking lots

Niece M :  Agreed

Sis C 👍

BRO:  It’s it’s not the parking lot fault you have to pick your feet up not shuffle because that’s when you trip. Of course getting old doesn’t help.😏

ME:  oh, stop making sense 

Niece M: 😂

BRO :  All you old mfers 

Niece M: Well I think I have her talked into using the cooter scooter for the foreseeable future 😉

ME:  shall I take that as my new middle name?Oldmfer?  Kind of exclusive I’d say.

BRO:  yep.  Mine too

     The text Exchanges continue with discussion of walking devices, walking Tilly, and treatment plans including the new cardio concern But I’ll stop here.  It’s a good sample of how the Sibs communicate and express caring for each other, niece M. Included in locus Sis L.

Missed another day

   

E sent beautiful flowers to his dad

     A came home from hospital yesterday. Now we are setting up insurance claims and follow up appointments.  He seems to be recuperating OK.  Crazy how many other people we know are not well  KA had a cancer surgery today. Neighbor L has stomach problems after the kind actions of Monday. Sis D just got over her flu B. Our girl S called  around 3 AM with downed power lines to house   She handled it well, but we went into panic mode initially. 

So when is mercury out of retrograde?!!

missed a day

  

Maietta’s lot

     Viewed the car yesterday and my heart still sinks at the sight and what Allan went through. I won’t share the other photos.  I’m afraid now. 

     Greg the employee was a beast about opening the gate and charged $50 cash because it was a weekend besides being 20 minutes late to arrive and just generally rude  I still need to pick up three more items from the backseat.  Who do I complain to? When I have time. Or just sic karma on the sob. 

Maietta’s lot

Use the car yesterday and my heart still sinks at the sight and what Allan went through. I’m afraid now 

Waiting game

 

MMM view to west

My message to my inquirers this morning

Ok I’m back. Surgeons are still working on his compound forearm fracture with plates. I’ve been tracking whether car insurance lapsed— it hasn’t —after talking to reporting officer. Then locate where car was towed to get tax papers eyeglasses and cell phone left in. That’s been my fun morning

 All about the cell phone for connection, contact, relationship. 

Check out the chicks in our ‘hood

 

Well, some are ducks

     The fowl escape from a house the street over, and there is actually a pocket park where they can and do wander. This is the first couple of days I’ve seen a flock stray so far from their coop.  Calso keeps four chickens, but they never get out of her yard. I’m fascinated to see them, as I am by the wild turkeys I occasionally spy at the end of our road.  If th owners don’t mind their straying, neither do I.  

  But animals in suburbia can cause conflict.  I worry about Red’s unknown therefore uncollected “deposits,” since he does un the neighborhood off leash, usually in my sight and voice or collar control.  A neighbor did complain to C yesterday about our late night chatter causing her two hounds to bark long and loud, waking the whole family.  Only thing is, too damn cold for us to talk in streets last three months and we almost never come out together at night.  I’m never out past 9:30 or 10:00 pm, so not sure what’s waking her dogs.  Anyway, I took offense.  What to make of that? Internal considering on my part?  Just laugh at it?  But here I am writing t down, holding onto a trivial matter.

     Stepping on corns, GIG would say.  

  

    The bigger offense:  still haven’t spoken to sis L since January 26.  It’s like marking time, ticking off days to see when and how excommunicado

     Emergency. A crashed the Matrix about 1:15 near library Officer informed me about 2:45?  No evidence at crash site when I drove by except down tree trunk. He was in ER getting forehead stitches when I caught up with him around 4 pm. Moved to R 407 about 11:30. In hospital 5 days

Mud season

 

10:07 am, on trail. Only going to get dirtier 

Haven’t even seen this trail in weeks

    Muddy memory?  Forgot to fill one of my prescriptions but fortunately found 2 floating around for last night and this morning in my pill packs. TYJ. It’s a pill I really worry about not taking.  Fortunately, the pharmacy had already filled it so we went and picked it up early, then Red and I went to Park where almost all the snow is gone. 

      Good webinar tonight on BT Ch 16, “The Relative Understanding of Time.”  Must ponder Time and Divine Love as reverse sides of relationship.

Loved ones

 

Good doggies playing, last night

New attitude today, says C

     Incredibly beautiful day today. 63° at 11:15 AM!!! Plus, sunshine. Red is napping after his walk with A and ball game with me. Good visit from our neighbors last night and good note from C this morning. German webinar coming up in an hour and a half with talk of reason, conscience, and morality; should be a good one.  

Grate day, H2O everywhere

Water running in the streets

     RS is so full of it.  “I believe we are in WW3; a different form of war than in the past: economic destruction. Based on oil. We sent 2 real estate people to negotiate nuclear (deals).  Khomenei issued a fatau holy law 1999 that Iran cannot have nukes. So we get the opposite of what we want.  This morning in my sitting I imagined I was an Iranian woman with a child, suffering this bombing. People in Dubai are euthanizing their pets lest they be killed in attacks. Or if Iran attacks desalination plants millions will die of thirst.”

    Where does he get his so-called facts and ideas?  They prompt incomparable virtue signaling in “holders” of conscience and suffering, to which I have nothing to say, particularly because I suspect we all tend to feel fairly low-grade varieties of suffering combined with high grade imagination.  Forgive me if I’m wrong.

      Spoke to SB by phone today. She was having a frustrating day with clerks. We improved it by laughing at it.

     Neighborhood walks with Red. Great temp and sun.

     Tired from the time change .

Down by de schoolyard

 

 

Good to see kids at play and spring coming on

    Very good webinar today. DG is amazing in his analysis of the books we read.  Don’t really feel like talking tonight.  I’ve been binge watching a TV show which is not good for me, but I haven’t stopped

Good times

 

Rodanthe, 10-16-14. No I don’t know any of them.

     Not a great morning. Wasted time, very frustrated with computer crapolla.

Yikes!

Two in front porch flower pot one morning, GA

Lighting change

3-5-2023

     Those are not something you want to see everyday, and were just babies. Glad I got pics, and I think that’s when I bought snakebite kits for the house.

      Nothing like that at my house; mostly and rarely random mice, rats, gophers, skunks,  chipmunks, squirrels.  

      Too quiet today maybe. Sleepy. Snowy am, so hello J, goodbye 40 bucks, not that I’m complaining. He’s so worth. Snow is melting fast as we knew it would, and it’s a gray day. Dogwalker the lovely A brought Nola by to play, then Red and had chanced to greet G&L at the end of the driveway, always a pleasure.  Now we’ll go return an Amazon book:  too heavy and misty smelling to keep, unfortunately. Didn’t like it at all, much to my surprise. Les Tres Riches Heures…, always a fave of mine, but not this format. 

ice is nice

 

Tiny, but looks massive, like a glacier

What does that say about trusting veracity of images?

Redux, this morning 8:20

    Up early to take Red to Spaws for the monthly ablution and trim. Had a chance to speak to my girl S, congenitally, about how much vacuuming was enough. We concurred. Enough to avoid dirt and guilt (mine).  She said her kitty tells her when it’s time to break out the big machine, not just spot vac. She helped me feel happier about my similar habits. I really do feel guilty about not vacuuming every two or three days, but not enough to change the pattern.

     Got delicious Mr Bagel for breakfast, but especially enjoyed observing the clientele, including moi, and servers, sounds and smells, the whole atmosphere of the little cafe.

       A is off to optometrist, so with Red at grooming, I’m having a rare totally quiet time home alone.  I’m not doing anything much different, but it feels odd, not referring my movements about the house or even change of posture and seating without referring to mylittle dogs needs or to A’s location and activities in the house and, actually, time. Truly highlights mechanicallity.

Just another prettty

 

Late

Early

     Beautiful bright mild day after last night‘s fresh layer of clean snow.  We took a leisurely mile walk at 1:00 on very wet streets—the sun had had time to melt the snow pack considerably. Red loved getting on top of the drifts and crunch down through them, roll himself in them for some reason, like adding sprinkles to himself.  He played with Luca, just back from a road trip to Fla. K said the little dog loved riding in the car even though they drove through on the trip down.  She’s looking to buy a property there. They visited relatives rather than doing the tourist thing.  

    We also spoke to P, who showed us a black slate valentine painted by a friend, and we waved to G’s wife and granddaughter, as well as to J when we heard Dewey bark hello. Yesterday in the windy cold we greeted three men on our walk, including P, J’s son, and one with a big smile whom we didn’t know. It’s really pleasant and important to encounter neighbors in the ‘hood.

      This is concerning:  A and Red went for a short errands drive, while I napped. I greeted him when I thought I woke up and asked when they got back. He said 5 minutes ago and I already had spoken to him, had said I was awake. He had put Red on the bed. I looked and was surprised to see him there, asleep.    

     I won’t report this to a doc yet, but I want a record of it.  It sounds like that temporary amnesia incident I had a few years ago. It’s scary to me. 

      Mid day after all my usual foolish Sudoku and reading, I wrote emails in support of Mr Trump to him and to Susan Collins. I don’t expect to have an effect on her, but I’m glad I expressed my opinions. 

      I was looking at photos of Mom on my phone last night. None of them are very clear. She’s never smiling either. I wonder whether I look like her at any age in our lives. Not so much beyond puffy old lady faces. I know I smile. Her birth and death dates are within a week. Needful to think of her, keep her memory green .

Inattentive

 

Blood 11-8-22

   I missed the blood moon this morning, and I should not have;  I was awake, but did not remember to haul out of bed or look out the window when I did. My loss.

Foolscap

July 8, 2015, Northport

I on his path, properly attired

     Who says the Chinese don’t have a sense of humor?  I found the following YouTube short to be hilarious.  The original “shows” dabble in absurdity and fun  Then one man and his helpers’ mockery  of “fashion” brings parody to perfection.  Many versions of the video exist.  Monty Python would be so proud and would add one edit  —struts only— to the Department of Silly Walks.

     I would love to know the story behind its making— where is he?  What motivated their production?  If he’s in China, any censor involvement or local social repercussions?  Where did he see the originals?  Any financial profit?  

     But the real point is, watch these on YouTube if you want a laugh, starting here.

     https://youtu.be/dlt-u4DleHs?si=GT5ST1qTpz5CSejA

Mush, puppy

 

Another snowfall, welcome March 1.

Tasty, Red says. And I have on my fur coat.

     Two webinars this morning with G and D.  I’ll report back. I think sis L started a Substack; I was invited to follow her when I was looking at LVL‘s yesterday. I’m really curious, but I’m half afraid to look at it, lest it be political haranguing.  I will check it out and get back to you (me).  Starting to sound like Beelzebub this morning, promising Hassein, I’ll tell you about that in detail later.  We all know, of course, that he almost never did.

Busy enough

 

Curiosity 

    Felt like an ordinary repetitive day yesterday, but quiet is maybe a better descriptor.  Events du jour:

    Good morning contemplation which will result in 3-27 program on Orage’s Essay 8 at PSC.

      Texts with C, I know her new plans now for housing.

   Errands to pharmacy, bank, gas station, with Red of course 

      Sunny walk in park. Bumped into R. His wife L died a year ago; he said he last saw her on March 3. I was just thinking of them last week. He gave me a big hug and said he did not think this was a random meeting. Probably right. I am often surprised by contacts with folks I haven’t seen in a while but think of them and they appear. 

     Scrabble with A in afternoon. Pretty much a tie score. Both pleased, A especially by over 500 points for us. 

      S resolved her problems with deed and bacon burger.  Everybody happy then. 

       Spoke to I about his offensive posts from a few months ago, suggesting he delete them and maybe talk to his dad.  I think they could affect future employment due to intolerant foul language.  Just hope he heeds the warning.

      Rush to PSC for two meditations after a fast supper.  D brought delicious chip bar snacks. And L gave us the happy news that he got a job like the one he lost, pJ!  His meditation repeated reminders not to discount the good we do, and I find that helpful.

        C and Nola visited last thing

        I was sleepy much of the day. 

        This reads like a “roll back the day”  exercise. OK!

Comfort or self calming?

Father…

And son, 29 years later

    Newborn E, no smiles, startled on being awakened from a sound sleep; more important to convenience the photographer than the baby, right Mom?  Goes to show wrongheaded priorities right from the beginning. So sorry, son.  But your grandma got it right with your dad, her baby, A: eyes fixed on him, a little tickle, then  rewarded with a big smile.

     So a repeating question:  Are we put on this earth to fail our children?  I just heard my father‘s voice in my head and he was saying, “I’m sorry.”  I say the same thing to my children in my head so frequently, and I think about my siblings’ children, too:  So many disastrous missteps that their  parents  -I- cannot, could not, or would not prevent. We fail to protect them from errors of their ways or our own. 

   I remember the images of sweet, smiling infants, at least photos:  E, S, I, A, C, D, L, myself,  and I cherish them.  I consider my neighbor’s uber intense efforts to shelter her daughters and admire her for them, with hopes their lives will turn out better for that all-in mother love.  

     But we all suffer. Then laugh in the face of it sometimes, or die crying.  “Bible says, dust to dust. That’s why I don’t dust; might be somebody we know.”

     And, really, I think parental guilt may be what attaches me so closely to my little dog at this time of life.  And here I thought it was love!  Well, I’ve always acknowledged my lack of clarity on love.  Tut, tut.