Father’s Day

 

Man at work

La la la

Another fine day, TYJ

 

Red on the trail, by I today

Didn’t seem to start out that way. Grocery shopping and the old folks crashed and burn for several hours in the early afternoon  I was bored out of his wits, I think, so I  him out for a downtown walk with three assignments: Take pics; Make eye contact and talk to somebody; ponder while walking, What do I want to do with my life?

    Got back just as Red and I were heading to schoolyard, so I asked him to drive us. We walked the short  fave Sac trail and encountered a fine young man with a skateboard he greeted me pleasantly. Back in the parking lot, he came over to speak and I got  out of the car and amiably joined the conversation. I love the smile for two young men  And the Lively, discussion of schools and film and theater. Very much hope to encounter B again.

Excellent weather

Red lounging around the corner today

Yesterday 

I snapping

A few more pics. I’m tired. Stormy weather yesterday sunny and windy today both beautiful days

     I feel like I am turning myself inside out and doing the same to I and the rest of the family. Planning and supervising daily events. Spending money 💰 more than freely, maybe foolishly ttbut not caring. I’m tired and and too much. I and Red seem so too. What am I trying to accomplish this month, with these people, my family?  I can’t name it. It doesn’t feel peaceful or internal or godly or maybe even goodly. Am I expecting something in return?  External considering or mistaking internal considering for that?

No more beans

 

Grandson’s photo yesterday across the bay

We walked back bay yesterday and this is ian’s picture of the new construction on the old B&M baked beans site. I wonder where they make that product now

Good Wednesday night webinar and some good feedback by email regarding my response to Stephen. The anxiety is going away today.

S got back safely from her dental appointment. Her poor mouth is full of silver stitches, which have to come out on -1.  Poor girl or maybe not so much since we have dental work that saves teeth

Chief Feature

                   

Neighborhood Flowers yesterday

   S is on her way to Boston for a serious dental fix. Sunny and cool today with 9 days of rain predicted. Better mood me but still conflictied about Stefon. Wish he would’ve led just go away. 

  What I would say if I could to him and the group: Maybe name my chief feature, which I am not proud of:  you cannot win an argument with me unless I let you.  Stubborn, tenacious I guess.  If I acknowledge that, will it go away? Probably not, but I may become more centered even if I do keep Automatically swatting mosquitoes

Fight

 

Tough cookie. Nasty piece of work. 

I’m tired of hearing you talk, I told Stefan in webinar today. And dressed him down in no uncertain terms. What do we make  of that in the work or the group?  I said I deal with that constantly  I also know I’m not an iota sorry  ironically Gwynne posted on saying no, setting boundaries on her substack and I read it immediately after the brouhaha  also read it , who seemed to appreciate it bottom line, I am very tired of managing and nagging  mao e cardio sat an appt with psyche nurse and I caught it exact it will do me good  

 I and JG went to OOB today; brought home another claw machine plush; nobody got his feet wet or sandy.  S  arrived  with calm mood prevailing all evening  we went to Clambake for fried fry fry; no crowd, outdoor picnic with Red tagging along  It amazes me how little joy and festivitity I see in such an event, treated like vin ordinaire when I the payor see as rare champagne.   

Natalie worked hard and effectively. Her gardening results look good

More Clambake pics:  

Fun times

 

It all speaks for itself

Yesterday at the beach was a happy time. I’d Big smiles as opposed to the neutral or pained look as as usual aspect was heart lifting. The sea air truly is a tonic to breathe,and the view of port harbor, ocean, and islands  never ages. Dogs playing together and splashing in the water cheer and glade the heart  Red is not a water dog, but he romped joyfully with those who were, and he left the beach with a damp, sandy belly after a stretching  recline at waters edge,

Grandson walked up to food trucks and consumed quesadilla for supper. I got a small gelato and insisted everyone taste it red and I liked it best. 

A had dinner at home, Leftovers prepared as I talked to sis L. He talked to the most.  High anxiety over niece M bolixed her day  pretty sure he cheered her up

First sergeant

 

My favorite apple tree, progressing.

Everybody hates me for giving orders, and I can’t stop doing it. I strongly feel like it’s my job, my duty, right now, and I have low energy and little time to fulfill it. I don’t want to be the boss. But somebody needs to step up and I don’t see any other volunteers . So I catch resentment for it, but I push anyway.  Can’t slack off, time as well as energy is limited. 

Hot and heavy

My darling this evening 

I would rather think about today’s events than write them out: interactions with Jake, $50 AC very noisy but cool, Costco trip, wonky leg developed. Giving too many orders again oh yeah, I forgot crappy time on computer with Passwords for A. I helped. All feels so tiresome Yet for the activity. Comparisons with my inactivity pop-up and I realize I need to be more active when I leaves. 

Working hard

 

The evidence

We are keeping very active in warm weather, although it was pleasant enough today. 76° with a breeze, but the sun is very intense  We picnicked in the park on Chick-fil-A. Then a short walk in the park for three of us and Grandson walkedHome for more exercise

He also dusted the house with me to get up some of the pollen  He’s being very helpful