A walk in the woods, sort of

Yesterday, a mile from home:  a nest (wasp or bird?), power  line, well groomed snowmobile trail, happy dog on the trail

     That may have been our best walk of the year yesterday: brisk pace, crisp temperature, clear sunshine and shadows, seven snowmobiles passing at different times, two pleasant encounters with people and dogs.  Life doesn’t get any better.

     In contrast, webinar last night was unpleasant. G immediately started whinging about ICE and “politics” and what Work can be done to possibly improve her state. Everyone else jumped into the liberality, including of course Leader R, who said this time OK to talk about events  that trouble us. I dropped a bomb late with, “Would you smile at an ICE agent?” And added a few more choice comments, including: we don’t all believe/ accept that point of view.  How you feel about ICE is how I feel about riots posing as peaceful protest that could lead to civil war .  We all just want to confirm our own opinions. We're all rich (no we’re not; of course we are, yet we/you target the wealthy —for (implied Trump, Epstein) sexual exploitations. Now you’ll vote me off the island. No we won’t,  we still like you.  And I still like you. I want to stay in the work. And my aim is to develop Objective Reason. And serve the Absolute (for god’s sake don’t say God!).  Guess I momentarily wrecked a real Kumbaya hour, but R pulled it back together, as usual, Coach.

     I have no illusions in this group however.  Just reminded them where I stand, as I did at least two times before. They certainly do not know me, likely dislike me, and probably don’t want to hear me talk. Early in R marveled at the wonder of words, that is, development of speech, language, reading, writing.  I also remarked, unheard pretty much, that for two previous sessions, my only comment was essentially words D’s are failing me. All I say is lifted from someone else, even if Work writers. G jumped in with “talk about your experience; how do you get along with husband?” and I brushed that off. Mentioned instead my rift with Sis L since Minneapolis. “So sorry.”  I also made a terrible flop joke about Sis C becoming an “inconvenient woman” by surviving cancer (I told her that, too, though it doesn’t excuse my attempt to relieve my own stress and grief by resorting to what I classify as irony that actually eludes my intended audience.

     I wound up by pointlessly reading two lines on self remembering and consciousness from Orage via Lee, repeating R’s link of the two concepts.  This emphasizes to me we’re all reading and repeating each other.  But I had already said more than enough. If i want to talk about an inconvenient woman , just look in the mirror.

Stop it

 

Darn cute. Timmy 2005

     -Stop talking to me that way. You talk to me that way. To give you a taste of your own medicine.  You are trying to tell me what to do.  No I’m not; I think I’m trying to commiserate; I guess I’ll just have to stop talking to you.- 

     Grousing. How many times? Daily? Weekly?  Too many. Old men and old women. Contempt.

      -Did I tell you today I love you?  Yes. I love you, too.-

    What’s the truth?  Well, we’re good with ambiguity, aren’t we?  What do these exchanges reveal about self love— none,  just right, or  too much?  

      All of these questions. Who am I asking anyway?

      So we talked about the problem.  Now we will see if it changes. 

Dark and light

 

On the trail yesterday

     All about contrast.  Phone call to bro, sis D and sis C yesterday and today, caught up on family news more or less.  

     Two work conferences to consider, Montreal in fall or Charles Town WVA in May which I like to consider as an Amtrak trip. We’ll see.

Yesterday and today

   MMC from Intermed yesterday

     Doctors appointment yesterday with her nurse, very pleasant. Nothing unusual to report. I mentioned the appointment I was supposed to have with Cardiology last fall, but never did and ironically got a call about an hour ago for the test for amyloidosis next Friday. I’m a little nervous.

     Spending my time watching TV. Especially Rember the Titans and Dark Winds.

Quel difference

 

Grey ice yesterday

     Definitely not in Florida.  Maybe I stay here because the weather gives me so many beautiful things to complain about.  You can’t feel the wind chill when you look at this bright white image, but I did.

State of mind

SB pics, yesterday 

  The great state of Florida.  I really should go visit her.  I really don’t know what keeps me sitting still all the time. I will need to ponder it. 

  

   If bro moves to Cleveland, will I ever travel to Oh to see my sibs in the flesh again?  I doubt it. Wake up dream was images of very difficult journey back to ME from OH; no one would take me to the airport, necessary to find my own way by train, many doors, ladders, lines of people blocked me, flight reservation uncertain. Woke without getting home. Not a new dream, just a variation

New and old

 

Excellent new products from Costco yesterday

      Some days just not much to say. I did a lot of Deutsch English reading of BT. Webinar today too, very good. I like my friends very much, so kind and knowledgeable on both sides of the water.

      I suffered gravely low grade anger much of the morning, internal considering maybe, maybe not. Felt rudely handled saying what I know of the esteemed DM. It’s purely intuition, but I feel unliked in that group, as if that should matter.  And if I “deserve it,” what then?  I’m also feeling disgruntled with sis L. A says let it go, don’t call.  But it is suffering.

What next

 

Near the Park1-9-26, snow too deep to visit today

     

     Not expecting much today— probably a Costco trip for veggies and beef. Vacuum up the crumbs and sand from past 48 hours.  Read.  Fiddle with devices, like now.  Definitely a dog walk today. RS webinar this evening

   

      I should set a work aim for the day, but that feels hazy.  After all, I read/listened to a couple of Lee's podcasts.  And I’m lumping it vaguely into reading, specifically the German version of BT. Yes, I know how insincere and self justifying that is, going through the motions, not really aims at all…..

    Patties lost the big bowl game, but they weren’t even expected to be in it four months ago, so I’m OK with it.  Interesting postgame emo temp:  I can imagine a tingle of elation for today if they had won, and somehow I feel its lack. Yet how can I miss something I didn’t have?  But it’s not disappointment or an opp to play the blame game, all too common among media commentators.  

     C returned yesterday from MA, so we visited with her and Nola toward the end of the game.  Her daughter’s vball traveling team won all 12 of their games, and she suffered a bloody nose blow but no concussion, so stayed in the game.  Next weekend is their big TN trip. She reports that this activity is fun but more exhausting and expensive than expected. Plus she misses her other daughter and. little Nola. Both doggies have manifested some mild anxiety for their changes in habits, including their nightly visits. Like humans:  automatons.

      Alright, alright already! Stop nagging myself!  Work aim du jour:  before dinner, a serious sensing meditation. Got all those other things to do now.

Newspaper comics &. puzzles

Sudoku, 2-9

     About the only reason I want to subscribe to the newspaper these days is the comics and the puzzles. I’ve read the comics daily since I was a kid, so more than 65 years.  The strip people are generally excellent artists, offering wisdom and humor,  although I’ve had my favorites over the years whether they were excellent or not. I miss some of the ones that have disappeared permanently, such as Apt. 3G, Ali Oop, Snuffy Smith, Judge Parker, Mary Worth, Steve Canyon, and of course, Dick Tracy. I suppose Prince Valiant is my favorite oldest timer still here, and it’s a good example of how the graphics and social POV have changed over more than half century.  So is Dennis the Menace, one of the many characters not allowed to grow up, even as I did.  Mark Trail was a favorite that changed for the worse in its most recent iteration. All said, I’m glad when old strips get republished as is, such as For Better Or For Worse and Get Fuzzy and of course Peanuts.  I’m also pleased to see control and production pass to heirs of the originators.  Seems fitting. Then there are terrific relatively new comers, like Ray Billingsley’s Curtis, and Steven Pastis’ Pearls before Swine.  And I should be enthusiastic about the old folks my age in Pickles, but I really like sweet Luann’s crowd better.  So has any historian picked up the topic of this “ordinary” art form yet?  Must’ve, but if not, it’s a gem waiting to be found.

     The Jumble and Sudoku are my favorite puzzles, and I’ll boast a bit about them. I’ve worked Jumble so long that I can most often see the words intended immediately, and it’s not difficult to work out the long riddle, sometimes without the letters. Sudoku is the challenge, I rarely complete them, and I can get OCD about them often, spending up to 11/2 hours before I solve or discard, defeated.  I solved the three above in these past two days of frigid weather, what I called wasting time yesterday in a blog post.  But oddly I feel a mild sense of accomplishment, likely unjustified.  By the way, the first done was level 4, second level 2, third level 1 started three days ago.  The 1s seem so schwer zu mir.  Is this what youngster video gamers feel after hours in front of a tube?  Hmh.  

Deplorables

 

We went ‘chopping yesterday

    And met up with a fine, friendly bunch of deplorables.  Red entertained all comers, but his fave was a beautiful mini bernedoodle pup whom we encountered at the checkout with its enthusiastic mom and dad. I liked our efficient and friendly Persian clerk, very pretty with green eye makeup, reminding me of S. I advised her to get the frozen chicken pie; it’s delicious.  Also from Mass; I noticed Canadian frozen pies were also stocked and didn’t see price but wondered about tariff effect.  Nevertheless, stick with what you know.

      The evening’s activity was meditation and healing meditation, specifically for D, who broke 2 ribs and wracked up her knees in a snowmobiling flip that day. L showed video of the accident. We’re thankful she wasn’t hurt worse. I laid my hot hands on her knees, and she reported it made them “happy.”  She also said she generally felt better after this healing circle, so we have some feedback that hands-on healing is beneficial.  I always say, at least it couldn’t hurt. We also discussed healing as a spiritual practice— what’s it like for you to do it?  Not our first rodeo, but always good to weigh in. For example, L said, as a “conduit,” you can always skim off and retain some of that energy for yourself. So I tried skimming off energy for this D’s knee and sending it to my sis D’s broken patella.   Won’t know ever if it “arrived,” but as I said, it couldn’t hurt. Maybe I’ll ask her if she felt a “change in the Force.”

     So now the world gets a clue about the machinations of us deplorables:)