More rain all day. Yesterday and today. Red doesn’t love it. But it has its pleasant quietude.
Lee says today, and I hope he’s right:
I see that despite my inadequacy,
I am penetrated by love.
It has come here to help.
Japanese decluttering advice:
The special occasion you’re waiting for is the day you are already in ( Use it or dispose it
Do not let your stuff become someone else’s burden
Beware that mixture of boredom, fear and depression
A woman pulled out her car in front of me on Main Street yesterday day and just stared right into my eyes as if daring me to say a word. How word and ironic after Thursday crash
Lots of rain and possibly a northeaster predicted. We went to the park and bought Subway for lunch not much of a walk, but very satisfying S reports she’s doing well today
Met an African with a crippled foot in an unexpected and sorry way. T-boned at a four way stop. I took the blame. I ran a stop sign. BUT. He was turning left and did not see me? Why was I talking for him to the officer? Because of his stearner demeanor? He was trying to help me, I think, but I wasn’t getting the hints at the time. ME has some law about at fault if you can stop an accident but don’t, I think. I did not get a citation so far. But could I lose my license?We’ll see. Filed claims while we waited for police. Spoke to HM rep today . Will go with JG to auto body shop Monday. Caliber on Forest Ave.
I really want to stop driving, but not going places.
Now it’s time for German webinar and I’m falling asleep. Im anxious to hear from S
The other half of autumn I’ve had the stove on most of the day. Walked with Red in the ‘hood. Awake for eight hours now. All I can seem to fe l and think about is my daughter’s plight and fight. Feel like the tar baby. Will there ever be joy or ordinary happiness in my life again.
Called sis C. No consolation. She has her own misery, cut off from prescription drugs and her new first floor apartment was flooded 3 inches. Hasn’t heard from L. Can’t catch a break, the whole family.
Yom Kippur starts tonight. I recall wishing a young Jewish woman from Coral a happy one a year or two ago and she kindly explained it’s not that kind of holiday. It’s a day of atonement, 25 hours of fasting, no water even, I surmise from a cancer survivor I read on Chabad yesterday, Bentzi Sasson of NYC. His description of his chemo experience both frightens and inspires me, particularly his emphasis on reliance on God and family, both missing in this upcoming case. I may be the connection, but I am rejected, not to mention weak. Help, Lord! IJN
https://w2.chabad.org/media/images/913/KQdg9132782.jpg?_i=_n32DD4A5CE5B405756B86D11830CBE5B1
What contrast— Day and night, Jekyll and Hyde. A kept the house very clean, and with the light my heart and soul are lifted from the paranoia and fear and loathing that was developing in just 48 hours. She’s right and says she can accept it: we cannot live with each other more than that time. A sorrow and pity. She says don’t feel bad or guilty, but she can’t know how painful it is to have failed your beloved child. Her father less so, but even so
I feel deep sorrow and sadness in my heart and mind. Peace also, Thank you, Jesus. This must be the joy and love that Lee links to sorrow
I wrote nothing on this blog yesterday, but did not want the day to pass unnoticed. Too tired. Went to sleep about 8 PMI saved the space, but program did not keep it Commentary on human machine relationships I suppose It won’t let me change the date, you know.
Today I will say I travel home catching the 330 bus and keeping JG out waiting for me in the bus station later than I intended. I fell asleep in Augusta and didn’t call him since I woke up only as we were pulling into the Portland station God bless him for being so patient and kind to me. I left my phone in his car and he already had his jammies on when I went to pick it up thank goodness he only lives a couple of houses down
