Swearing

S’s vegetables, her pic

 Phone call devolved into high screech about bullying. Not allowed to say tone it down a notch we’re not against you. All because I mentioned the neighbors pale blue  No hate in Wbk sign. She was bullied and can’t forget or forgive or reconcile herself. What good does eternal victimhood serve?  Pitiable, but unless revenge is possible and effective, all lose. Guess that’s why I like the Equalizer movies. And we have Avengers stories. It comes back to the sinful nature of humanity. And ubiquity of suffering.  

Dump it on someone else and rationalize by admitting to “a little” profanity without acknowledging voice pitch or speed or volume. Or their effect on any of us. “A stream of the old rancid,” Maggie Smith denominated it in an old Poirot movie. But not a management tactic here. Only as A called it, hysteria, and fuel for future outbursts. 

Crotchety

 

Riverbank Trail yesterday

That’s me. Crotchety  but a am grateful for this beautiful autumn days, for friendly neighbors and their dogs, for home, town and country, for family, for moments of peace. 

Yard crew here today.

 

So much yummier, as Catwoman said 

Tidy

Now that’s a back yard, Daichi!

Thank you, Brody, and God bless you all. New men, one silent Latino, and Caz-Cazden—“my mom made it up .”

Refraction, reflection, whatever

 

Morning light

German webinar today went very well. Red and I walked the usual neighborhood path. Watched a Statham movie— not proud of it, but I like him

Wait for daylight

  

Rippling water in the park Sunday

Many events today. Started with Health insurance applications. Very good Aon Agent. JG came over and brought us a Trump dollar coin. He stayed to help me straighten out my Nighthawk app and setup. Watched TV and fell asleep a while  after that.  Finally got Red over to the schoolyard Then A and I cooked supper, chicken sandwiches and canned soup very good, who knew. Pictures of S with much hair loss plus wearing new wig, cute. Like a Mona Lisa waif. But it made me so sad

Icky

 

Two days ago

Imposition webinar and I offend. Japanese system says give up relationships that don’t serve you. So back up. Restate. 

Across the world

 

Daichi in Japan, supper 24 hours ago

I love this young man through his videos on YouTube. God bless him and his video work

  I did get pills packed, health insurance reviewed, took Julio to de schoolyard, 

Busy, busy, busy

 

Moist again today

Only one walk with Me and Red. A lot of ceiling at the computer setting up and frustrated by Aon PW‘s and IDs. Then call to doc’s offices Because DMV is requiring statements regarding my sleep apnea and, new, Arrhythmias. Where did they get their information? What’s up with the hippa laws not applying to the state and them using them against us, eg licensing?  Of course JG has that problem big time, poor lad. 

   S says she’s feeling better today, but that RR visit was scary for all of us. TNJ for each day of apparent healing. 

     A and I cooked haddock chowder tonight. The frozen prod—fish— is really good. Individually wrapped real fillets. 

    Spoke to L on phone; she’s house sitting for KB who’s doing Va midwestern foliage tour. 

    After the slump yesterday, today is satisfying. TNJ

Hard Times, Mr Dickens

 

Down by the Riverside yesterday 

Just don’t even want to talk about them today. Perhaps tomorrow

Exhausted. Red, to groomer, then grocery shopping, dead sleep nap, picked up Red and walked him. To O for first hair appointment. She double booked!  I did not know that term till she said she couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t do it again  Not sure that’s gonna work for me.

P.m. now Sat ER for three hours worried about her heart and self diagnosing with me “pushing too hard”— criticizing/—via text then apologizing. 

I can’t get life right, Lord help me. Thank you. 

Lee van Lear daily Five Substack today, “everything here now” today:

The sensation of Being 

establishes the ground floor for every event in life 

and without it nothing lasts. 

The breath nourishes the roots of this sensation. 

And I become more whole. 

This sensation of being is what creates my individuality. 

An undivided perception of being. 

Everything here. 

In one place. Now. 

In this way, I am more prepared 

both to live and to receive this life. 

Many things become possible from this place 

which are impossible from any other place

including the development of a relationship 

with real feeling 

and the awakening of conscience. 

In contrast—not sunny

 

Back yard early

But we we’ll see what the day brings. Already had a wonderful episode of the Flaubert Report, my favorite from Lee. And the beneficence of Castor oil;  nasty I know, but I’m truly grateful  A&E conference starts today although I’m not going to participate. Webinar tonight. Busy hair day tomorrow for  both Red and me. 

New looks:

C’s birthday. She said these are her chemo curls.

S’s new glasses. First ones, progressives