Another blow

 

Yesterday

Her diagnosis is malignant. Cross the bridges as we come to them

Living in clover

 

And loving it

  Not doing anything today. Absolutely beautiful late summer day, cool sunshine  Made homemade no baked cookies; don’t need to do that again. Talked to White since he got home from his travels always good to talk to him   Dreamt about visiting him in his house after falling back to sleep this morning  Still having Digestive issues, wish that would go away

Back to visit

 

What a cutie. HF back to visit

Pretty ladies

 

In the park, just before the hail storm

   That was quite an experience  Chick-fil-A at the picnic table near the Muslim coffee wagon;  these lovely ladies walked by And recommended the Matcha drinks, Banana bread and mango. Walked by and we chatted with him for 10 minutes or so  I was sucking down The drugs of a peach milkshake. Red and I shared a few nuggets and two young African kids wanted to But were shy about handing him a chicken nugget when I offered one to them not him  Obviously afraid of dog mouth. Can’t blame them  Is that thunder I hear Rick said yes he better get back to his car. I decided to try the coffee stand and maybe get a little walk-in.  Rain started 30 yards away so we turned back just as we ordered coffee. A downpour came along and by the time we got to the car, there was hail; we were soaked and cold. A was whingeing about the windows being down. Driving home was scary enough since the windshield was fogged up And I wasn’t sure what button would unfog it. When we got into the stream of traffic, that jerks ahead of us wouldn’t go more than about 10 miles an hour although it wasn’t that unsafe to drive  At home we certainly had to dry up things, including ourselves And the sun has come in and out since we got back right now, bright sunshine and rain. The electricity just went off. So I’m sitting here with beautiful sunshine outside rain falling off the roof and no power I’m powerless

Garbage again

 

One of my favorite things. Collection. 

Didn’t think I skipped yesterday

 

Little dog, little friend. So cute!

But apparently I did. Every day just seems to melt into the other not much difference in the hours certainly not the activities this morning. I took A to the grocery store and the pharmacy and Red for a very little painful walk. 

For example, yesterday we did our 1 mile walk around the block early enough so I didn’t melt in the heat. I’s Monday music sounds like he’s as depressed as I am so I told his dad about it. Gotta watch out for that. He really needs professional counseling might be in order, but I can’t do anything about that anymore than any other problems in the family.

Sat around most of the day again today, but just came back from an early evening walk and it was very pleasant still 84° but a good wind, Greeted four people, including a grandmother Denise pushing her baby carriage. We walked and chatted all the way up Longfellow   I rather hope we could become friends

Bumbling along

 

Yesterday at the schoolyard

Report in other blog.  In the house all day. I did burn supper—stew—half an hour  after I started cooking it. Still smell that nasty odor in the heat and ac. Yuch!

Try to focus

 

Cornflower on the trail, muggy day

We saw JW and his girlfriend in their car as we walked. Do you have any work for me was his question and I said yes paint the deck still; when? When the weather is good I’ll have to buy some paint first. 

  Something I don’t quite trust, Maybe the desperation to live that projects hard from poverty. I seem to sense that as well in the stories I hear from L and C et al. Like S’s warning not to take in M.

  Desperation, it seems to try to wear a mask of friendliness and kindness that I repulse somehow   But how much should I?  I think I’m fearful. Does that not block compassion?

   If I ponder Tzvi Freman’s “hidden love,” will I learn o r open it?

    I told the law yesterday, you don’t trust anybody if you don’t trust yourself.”  Just reminding myself, that’s a core belief for me that I don’t want to show to anyone who counts. Pondering, however, I might do well to consider how trust and love— hidden love particularly—relate. 

TWO Days missed?!!

 

Looking good. New clean cheap rug

On the heat wave, I’d saymy brain is fried. Coming to you live from the second bank of James. Don’t feel like reporting much  Saw lsw E today. I know crocodile tears when I see them, professional sympathy, but I don’t really care.  Still I won’t abide her letting her lefty politics creep in. I’ll keep going for a while anyway, like I’m talking to myself. Talked about S and D and the past. Trust issues. Sins and harm I’ve done, with sis D too. It’s a heavy load, Jesus help me. Then went shopping alone to Home Goods. Bought new living room, rug, and bathroom, rugs and Halloween ornaments which I will give to the kids in the neighborhood but wanted to own for a minute. Mickey D macchiato was very good today for a change. Ah Retail Therapy!

Chest med appt today

 

Selfie new haircut Thursday 130

Almost missed it. Called yesterday morning to find out when it was and they told me 430 today. One more with LCSW on Friday