Try to focus

 

Cornflower on the trail, muggy day

We saw JW and his girlfriend in their car as we walked. Do you have any work for me was his question and I said yes paint the deck still; when? When the weather is good I’ll have to buy some paint first. 

  Something I don’t quite trust, Maybe the desperation to live that projects hard from poverty. I seem to sense that as well in the stories I hear from L and C et al. Like S’s warning not to take in M.

  Desperation, it seems to try to wear a mask of friendliness and kindness that I repulse somehow   But how much should I?  I think I’m fearful. Does that not block compassion?

   If I ponder Tzvi Freman’s “hidden love,” will I learn o r open it?

    I told the law yesterday, you don’t trust anybody if you don’t trust yourself.”  Just reminding myself, that’s a core belief for me that I don’t want to show to anyone who counts. Pondering, however, I might do well to consider how trust and love— hidden love particularly—relate. 

TWO Days missed?!!

 

Looking good. 

On the heat wave and say my brain is fried. Coming to you live from the second bank of James. Don’t feel like reporting much  Saw law E today. I know, crocodile tears when I see them, professional sympathy, but I don’t really care.  Still I won’t abide her letting her lefty politics creep in. I’ll keep going for a while anyway, like I’m talking to myself. Talked about S and D and the past. Trust issues. Sins and harm I’ve done, with sis D too. It’s a heavy load, Jesus help me. Then went shopping alone to Home Goods. Bought new living room, rug, and bathroom, rugs and Halloween ornaments which I will give to the kids in the neighborhood but wanted to own for a minute. Mickey D macchiato was very good today for a change. Ah Retail Therapy!

Chest med appt today

 

Selfie new haircut Thursday 130

Almost missed it. Called yesterday morning to find out when it was and they told me 430 today. One more with LCSW on Friday

Que sera?

But rainy all day today

Lee this am:  Everything always flows forward from here into here. 

And nowhere else. 

Bountiful

Let them keep growing. Pretty but not ripe

Like some people

Only thing to report from this day is wacky date we had: BK with order clerk who couldn’t “get it our way” and “Scenic walk” through blocked new paved carpark at BAM

Date with S and D today

 

Scenery

Pics to follow. We will meet them at 3:00 at Eastern prom

Friends

Blinded by the light

 

One side of the room with new blinds

So the blinds were installed today couple of hours early took them about 15 minutes. They are the pros. They look good but they certainly are expensive that way, not to do it yourself  

S left early this am, taking rte 1 home in order to shop for more yarn  Her cc load is way  higher than I wish or wish to help pay, desperate earlier contributions  

Not wanting to walk today, but finally did after 1 o’clock and the dog park well, white A shopped supermarket. 

Marsh

 

From the clam bake tonight

Good times with old friends 

Indoors and out

Contrast

 

Beautiful ordinary impressions

On the dog park trail today 

Cold today. Cloudy now rainy and wind like breath of God rousing one.  Slept very late. Not waking really. Hanging out in garage with lights on, Red my little heater. We walked at dog park, dropped off bag of stuff at Goodwill, talked to L —improvement in OH situations— now just waiting for S. Guess I should do more shredding 

Something new every day

Nice. Today 

Very busy today. Sleepy now. More later

More shredding. Phone calls. Pharm trip but sore closed today Psrk lunch and well. A they gave me a regular hamburger. Me : no they didn’t you are eating mine. lol