Try to focus

 

Cornflower on the trail, muggy day

We saw JW and his girlfriend in their car as we walked. Do you have any work for me was his question and I said yes paint the deck still; when? When the weather is good I’ll have to buy some paint first. 

  Something I don’t quite trust, Maybe the desperation to live that projects hard from poverty. I seem to sense that as well in the stories I hear from L and C et al. Like S’s warning not to take in M.

  Desperation, it seems to try to wear a mask of friendliness and kindness that I repulse somehow   But how much should I?  I think I’m fearful. Does that not block compassion?

   If I ponder Tzvi Freman’s “hidden love,” will I learn o r open it?

    I told the law yesterday, you don’t trust anybody if you don’t trust yourself.”  Just reminding myself, that’s a core belief for me that I don’t want to show to anyone who counts. Pondering, however, I might do well to consider how trust and love— hidden love particularly—relate.